23 April, 2018

I Just Want To Sit For Hours And Write, But...

I can sit at a computer for 12 hours straight writing (if given the time). Determination to finally be a published writer, it can drive me to work longer.

After being trained as a nurse, I later was informed how I shouldn't sit for long periods of times, especially doing this everyday. Actually, our bodies are not designed to be immobile for more than 2 hours. This is the main reason immobile patients have to be rotated or moved every 2 hours. If not, we risk developing blood clots in our bodies, which makes it hard to breathe. Also blood cannot pump to our heart. It can be fatal as well. Our blood can actually become more coagulated for a lack of movement for a long time. This is most likely if you continue this habit at a constant level.

I knew 2 people who died because of blood clots. One was my step-grandma's brother, the other was my friend who died at the age of 16. Yes, her obesity contributed to her inactivity during summer break, which caused massive blood clots in her entire body. She basically suffocated to death. I will make a post about her soon. However yes, for the entire summer she was immobile. My mother said going to summer school actually would have helped her. My step-grandma's brother was not obese. So it's not just for overweight people.

Anyway, because of this, my mother reminds me to take breaks from writing. Not much is required. You can just stand up and walk around a bit, or you can also do light exercises to stretch your legs. You can do anything that will keep healthy blood flow to your legs, then you can sit back down.

I also learned if you feel a numbness and like little needles anywhere in your body, most often feet, legs, hands and arms, this is a sign of poor blood circulation in that particular area. You have to reposition your numbed body part until the feeling returns. I learned you should actually stand or try to walk around if your entire lower extremities (everything below the waist) feels numb with the needles.

So what I learned as a nurse can be helpful for writers, but not only writers. It's just writers may have this habit of constantly sitting down, especially in one position for hours on end. I learned this applies to everyone who has the ability to sit down. You could be sitting down reading a book, playing a video game, drawing or you can be simply watching television, this applies to all humans.

The same applies with lying down. People should not lay in one position for more than 2 hours. You don't really have to get up, although it would be ideal to stand up and walk around briefly, you can simply change positions in how you are lying down. 

22 April, 2018

Writing Project About Life As A Living Doll

I just researched a bit about the Lolita fashion. I didn't read too much, but I did read about how it first appeared in the 80's. Wearing Lolita actually was a symbol of rebellion against basically mainstream society; to break free of the norm. I guess being tired of the society and usual fashion of Japan. Yeah obviously, it originated in Japan.

Anyway, I started a project about the real life as a living doll. It will actually be a manga. This series shares the daily lifestyle of a living doll, fashion and how people react to us as a living doll. The manga will share my personal experiences as being a living doll and dressing in Lolita everyday, or other kawaii fashion.

It can give humans a better understanding of being a living doll. This manga is not solely for people who transforms themselves into real life dolls, but for those who wears Lolita everyday. I wish to give people an understanding especially due to the misconception and misunderstanding of what is Lolita.

It really annoys me how people think what we do is a part of a fetish, which it is not. Also that Lolita promotes pedophilia and a weak, poor image on females. I didn't understand this until coming across a Japanese blog explaining why people misunderstand this fashion. Ever since that 1955 book by Vladimir Nabokov, people confuse the name Lolita and the Lolita concept with inappropriate fetishism. The blog said only Americans have this misunderstanding, but it's not fair to say when I have ran across many people outside of East Asia share this misunderstanding.

If you visit here, you'll understand how this book has given Japanese Lolita fashion a bad image, and why people misunderstand.

So I hope through my blogging and my new projects on living dolls and the fashion, I can clear a lot of this huge misconception.

21 April, 2018

Writing For a Trend or Passion?

When I first became serious about writing, I think all of my studying took over a bit too much. I have read books, articles, blogs written by editors, publishers, literary agents and published writers that advise aspiring writers to research what is trending. Then after that, write based upon the trends, what they feel will actually sell. Like if there is a trend on Vampire Romance, you should also write about that too.

After this research, I started to change my projects to fit what the experts recommend how you should write your book. I wasn't too satisfied with my work, and I think that's why I spent so much time rewriting stuff. Well half of the reason. My mother soon suggested that I shouldn't follow all of their advice.

I learned that I should write the book that I feel morally right about, and something that I can feel proud of. It feels more like a chore or an assignment than doing something you love if you are only following the trends. That or writing something that you're not passionate about or a topic or genre that you even hate. This is more like schoolwork. So, I started going back to constructing the projects how I prefer them. If you are writing or doing something you love, it doesn't feel like work and no one has to force you to do it. That's my preferred way. I prefer to write about something that I am interested in regardless if it's trending or not. I do believe trends come and go anyway.

Besides, why not be a trend starter yourself? If you are always writing about the same thing, we will never travel again with entertainment. No one is coming up with anything new, but they are recycling the same stuff. Was it not someone who wrote about these topics that actually started a trend themselves? I think yes.

Well, I'm not into trends or mainstream stuff. I do not follow anyone else but I like to go my own way with everything. I don't care if no one listens to that music or that music artists, if no one else plays that video game or if no one agrees with my fashion choice. If I like something, it doesn't matter if others like it or not.  

20 April, 2018

Writing What You Know

I heard several published writers advise to only write what you already know. Meaning staying within your knowledge and expertise.

However, I tend to disagree how you should only write what you know. I find writing a great learning tool. If I wanted to learn about something, I create a project to fit what I want to study. I use it for any historical event I was curious about, a language I wanted to learn and anything else that interested me. I use writing as a way to become an expert in the topics that I wished to be knowledgeable on...

I posted this to see if all of my posts were banned from Twitter, the previous post got banned. I'm not allowed to share it on Twitter. I guess because I mentioned the debt or the tariffs? I didn't realize people would get offended by it. I got a lot of people angry. I will try to no longer post regarding that anymore then. I just wanted to post more business related things, and stuff that I write about. Nothing more....

The End of High End Shopping

Yesterday, my family was given an email stating our Herberger's store card will be no more due to the Bon Ton company filing for bankruptcy. I was thinking, another store? Wow, those tariffs are affecting everyone. Many of these high end stores are closing and filing for bankruptcy.

The Bon Ton family opened their first store in 1854. They own Boston Store, Herberger's, Younders, Bergner's, Carson's and Elder-Beerman. That's a pretty long time to be in business.

2016, I also read how Payless filed for bankruptcy too.

The important point is from what I read is how high end, high cost stores are fading and ending in America. There is a risk we will no longer have this sort of shopping here.

Wal-Mart may seem like it's doing fine, in fact in America Wal-Mart is considered a giant that crushes the competition. If a Wal-Mart store opens in the neighborhood, every other store is doomed to close. However, stocks don't lie, and I fear Wal-Mart has suffered from the dwindling economy as well.

Things are not looking good for Gamestop neither. They are closing several stores and their stocks are going down.

I noticed too that the stores in my area can't restock shelves due to the tariffs and economy. Just today, my family ordered from Shipt, a company like Instacart but with Target store, the woman was saying how alarming it was that the shelves were so empty.

I think too, our officials should help get us out of debt, but instead they add to America's debt. The best example is Mark Dayton, the governor of Minnesota who added 188$ million to Minnesota's debt, which was already at 6.2$ billion when he went into office.

Like the quote from Thomas Jefferson,

"We must not let our leaders load us up with prepetual debt."

Another by John Adams...

"There are two ways to enslave a nation. One is by the sword. The other is by debt." 

UPDATE: Getting a lot of heat from this post. Wow, it was just an observation and it gets banned from Twitter? 

19 April, 2018

Nursing Career

Sometimes, I can forget I've been a registered nurse for 5 years. I remember when my mother suggested going into healthcare because healthcare jobs are guaranteed to still exists as others fade.

My mother's boss, a doctor from Iraq, always wanted me to work for his company. Well one of many of his companies. I had many people curious about the company I work for. To answer their questions, yes mostly everyone who works there and who owns the company are Muslim. They speak and write in Arabic everyday, which was why I am learning Arabic to have better communication with everyone. Most always assume my mother and I can speak Arabic, but we can't. There can be poor communication because of this. My boss seems to favor employees who are his same race. I feel awkward being put above the employees who are not of Middle Eastern descent.

I immediately started training as soon as I applied for the job. Now to start on my new job as a nurse, my mother advised being a PCA. I am uncertain if I would want to work in hospitals yet as I am constantly asked to, but I currently work as someone who provides medical care for seniors and disabled people. This has taught me to have respect for people with disabilities, and to be sensitive with them. I also grew to better appreciate seniors and their company.

I mostly work with hospice patients, people who are terminally ill. Not all are seniors neither. Many of these patients are children. Others tell me they don't see how I do this job, and they express a concern for being depressed over the job. It can get really sad everyday, especially when patients die. Sometimes you can get too attached to them. It can often cause you to think about death a lot. Playing video games, writing and enjoying nature and peace has helped.

It can take up a lot of time, and it can be lots of work to do everyday. I do this while trying to finish and publish a book, work on other writing projects, develop a new gaming console, study, learn languages, help start a new online store, and starting a career as a new living doll. It's a lot, but I like keeping myself busy. However because I do this sort of work, it leaves small windows open to post everyday. Out of complete boredom at the time, I can't help but to post.

I began using my living doll career to give therapy, support and entertainment to these patients. I do this for all patients, young and old, including veterans. Not all of the veterans are in hospice care, but some are either wounded or suffering from post-traumatic stress. I took a break from this in order to have a complete doll appearance I am satisfied with.

I was and still am quite obsessed with the military, and at first I wanted to enlist. My study of the military and military history gave me better respect and appreciation for the people in the military. That's why I accepted the invitation to also help veterans.

So, I just wanted to share my job outside of writing. I hope to soon share more...

17 April, 2018

Appointment Rescheduled (And More Updates)

The appointment that was scheduled for Tuesday, which is today, was rescheduled for 3 weeks. So in 3 weeks, I will visit this plastic surgeon. This appointment is not the actual procedure date, but it is just a pre-op. Everyone advised the appointment to be rescheduled due to my flu. I really feel-well, I suppose not 100%, but it wasn't like I was getting the surgery today. Still anyway, I hope to get rid of this flu before the 3 weeks. This does give me more time to prepare.

I'm not really sure why, but I took a long break from wearing my dolly clothing. Oh I know why now. I really wanted to perfect that Gyaru and Ulzzang makeup, because the makeup is what gives the porcelain dolly look. I never really wore makeup, and so this is also kind of new to me. Unfortunately, this time has gotten me use to not wearing skirts and dresses too. I don't wear skirts and dresses. When people saw me wearing a skirt or a dress, their jaws dropped in shock. I guess because the activities I normally do, well, it would be inappropriate to wear a skirt or a dress. I also use to not like skirts or dresses, but now I'm addicted to purchasing them. Purchasing, but not recently wearing, but that will change soon.

I guess I am getting an entire makeover. I was a tomboyish skater girl, now transformed into a real life fashion doll, the Ellowyne Wilde Doll. I gave up most of the outdoor activities I enjoyed to become a real life doll. How much those Lolita dresses cost, I definitely would not get them ruined. I am pursuing a career in becoming a model for mostly kawaii, dolly type fashion and historical clothing. I will not always wear the same style of clothing everyday. I aim to wear all of my favourite styles of clothing, but it still has a cute, dolly appearance.

I don't really want to be labeled as a Human Barbie, although people probably could to simplify things. However, I'm not transforming myself to look like Barbie, because there are so many other beautiful dolls in the world. The Ellowyne Wilde Doll is beautiful to me, that's why I have to imitate that beauty. Well, also I have been wanting to switch themes. My personality is much like an Anime character really, and so I wished to capture this beautiful art in a real life form.

What's different about my daily activities, is that I've been trying to get into more cute, Kawaii things. I am getting into different teas and drinking tea. Oddly, my very first tea I tried was called Zavarka, a Russian tea. Because of my interest in Japanese stuff, I've been wanting to try Japanese tea.

On that subject, I noticed becoming a real life doll has greatly interested me in Japanese and Korean culture. Now I really love Japanese and Korean fashion and music. I listen to mostly Kyary Pamyu Pamyu and other Jpop and also Kpop, but Kyary Pamyu Pamyu since she is the queen of Kawaii, it inspires to be Kawaii. I've been wanting to incorporate the Turkish culture in some way because I really love the Turkish culture too.

So I'm going to prepare some more and get rid of this flu I have during the 3 week wait. I have been doing more research on the procedures I want done. I have a high tolerance to pain, and so I'm not worried too much about that. Just think though, the things we do for beauty, huh?

16 April, 2018

Give Me Stuff To Read...

I really enjoy reading blogs and material/projects humans give me to read. I love reading, and sometimes I take a break from reading about wars, history, economics, science and other stuff. Yeah, even though I love Science Fiction and Fantasy, and also I write it too, I actually read Non-Fiction Historical books. Also I find myself reading Business books and Educational books.

Yeah, I am aware that most of the author blogs I read are Romance Authors, and I dislike Romance (I especially dislike Erotica stuff). So that's a hint that I will NEVER write Romance or Erotica books. So unfortunately, most likely, I will not read any of their books. Although, I have read the Twilight series, even though I disliked the series. As a writer, I just wanted to see what was all the hype about these books. When I was reading it, I didn't pay too much attention to the characters or anything, but I focused on the pacing, wording and other stuff.

It's just that I prefer blogs that are updated regularly, or even daily, and the Author blogs similar to the genres I read and write rarely maintains their blogs. Most haven't posted in like 5 years. Most of these blogs I read share about general writing or the author's lifestyle. I find myself enjoying personal, writing, business and art blogs. I also love travel blogs or blogs about different cultures.

I know some wonder if I actually read the stuff they send me, and my answer is yes, I actually do read it. I just forget to tell the person I did read the stuff they wanted me to read. You know, like if others ask me to read their books, poems or whatever it is. 

15 April, 2018

Snow For April


This is what people in Minnesota wakes up to. On the news, my family heard it's the worst blizzard we had in years, and it made serious history. It's been snowing all day and we are expected to get even more snow. We were advised not to leave our homes if we don't have to, but some people still have jobs to go to.

Everything is closed, every store, restaurant, gas station, school and even church. Seriously, you cannot find anything open.


When trying to step outside to shovel the snow, we found out we couldn't even open the door. I know from the picture, it's hard to tell how tall the snow is, it's thigh high. Some areas it's even taller than that. We spent a few minutes trying to get out the door. I know we had to, because it's law that the mailman has a right not to deliver your mail if your walkway is not shoveled.

So all this morning, my family was shoveling the snow. The wind was really blowing, and I could see why the news told us it could be dangerous to inhale the air. You can't even see outside because the snow is blowing in the air. The wind is so strong, I've seen people getting blown down the street! I was thinking, oh gosh! Good thing that isn't me.

It's extremely cold here. I think I caught the flu. We past the wave where people were dying from the flu. So it's fine. Oh man, it's spring! I thought we would be enjoying the spring weather. Well, the best thing about this is no spiders! And no centipedes! Just the other week, I saw a spider in the house when the snow was melting. Now, I see no more spiders or centipedes.

Interesting Discussion About Russia and America

I just had a much needed discussion with a young woman from Russia. She was the very first Russian I spoken to ever.

We first discussed the architecture of Russia. I have been studying architecture for years, but the Russian architecture is my favourite. She then asked if I ever been to Russia. I said no, and admitted to being fearful of visiting Russia as an American. Well, stastically 95% of Russians hate Americans from what I read. She expressed how sad she was because of the rivalry between America and Russia, hoping like me that both of our countries would stop competing. I also have been wishing this especially with the constant fear of nuclear war, that one day Russians and Americans can get along. No more rivalry and fighting. 

This young woman made me realize not all Russians share the same views as their government. She shared how everyone is against Russia, and how she tries not to look at the news because I agree it can make you upset. My family's curiosity keeps us watching and following the news, especially with the threat of being bombed, we need to stay alert in case someone tells us to seek for shelter. The woman however also shared how sad she is that the normal citizens pay for what their government does. 

I realized Americans have that in common. The American government has done things to others, but we take the punishment for their decisions. We are not as different as I previously assumed. I didn't realize not all Russians hate Americans, and wish us harm, I mean how their government wants to bomb us. Most Russians are not supportive of the American government, but she explained they may have different views about the people. I shared with her how I wasn't really supportive of the American government neither. I mean, I disapprove how they choose to handle things, and even how they treat their own citizens. I also didn't approve of harming the people of Russia only because of their government. 

America is the same. Yeah, I did share when she said how she always wanted to go to America for a visit, it's a bit overrated. I mean, the American government picks fights and starts wars. While we would be bombed and killed, they have bunkers to protect them. They leave us to die because our government could careless about us. I never knew this before, but unfortunately just like the Russian government, America is responsible for many war crimes, even against its own people. 

Now we fear nothing left will be of America by the time this administration is over. Now we are in danger of having no food. Many stores where I am can't even restock the shelves because the tariffs. I shared with her since she shared how people are against Russians, how because of the American government, us Americans are the most hated in the world. They made us enemies with almost everyone. I shared that's why sometimes, Americans can't visit most countries. I didn't realize Russians faced the same discrimination.

The young woman shared how now it's difficult to get visas to Russia. I think because their government doesn't want us in their country. I explained to the young woman that this poses as a serious safety risk for Americans visiting Russia now. I wouldn't even recommend it. I would perhaps go when things have settled and calmed down. 

It's ashame, because America is a country where even though you were born and raised here, you are still treated like you are not a part of this country, like you don't belong here. 

Anyway, it was interesting to have that discussion with a citizen of Russia. In America, the government teaches us to be afraid of Russian people, but she didn't seem scary to me. We both shared our wishes for each country. I mean she wished me all the best, and I wished her and the people of Russia the same. I do wish to share, no matter what happens, even if the military is instructed to bomb America, I don't have anything against the Russian people and their country. Let's pray in hopes someday, we can have peace and no more rivalry, arms race and war. It's about time to end this nearly 100 year old rivalry.