Sunday, May 29, 2016

What does the Confederate Flag Really Symbolize?

What do you think when seeing a Confederate flag? Well, I can tell you most view it as a symbol of hate. Due to the groups, I myself avoid anyone who carries this flag. I wanted to discuss this flag because I am writing a book on the American Civil War, for the Confederacy. That does not mean I am promoting hate ignorantly and blindly due to me being a minority. My motives behind writing about this topic is that I feel many has forgotten a past or tries to forget a past that shouldn't be forgotten. Also, I wish to share the history of the American Civil War to other countries who are unfamiliar with it.

Originally the Confederate flag was a flag for the south because they seceded from the northern States. Jefferson Davis became the president for the southern States. Yes, the south practiced slavery. I discussed this with the same civil war reenactor, and I agreed with his views. Although the south did these things, the Confederate flag is a symbol that has been misused. It is not the flag, but the supremacist groups who choose to use it for their missions. The Confederate flag today is feared, hated, and thought to be for the racist. Personally, when I see this flag in anyone's house, I slowly back out, knowing their beliefs. This is when the Confederate flag becomes a symbol of hate, following by Neo-Nazi flags and other Klansman symbols. 

When war began in the 1860's, there were many motives as to why Confederate soldiers enlisted. Many believe it was solely to continue slavery. Yes, some of the south wished to continue this tradition. While the north seemed to be more modernizing, the south remained in the primitive practices. The south wished for independence and freedom from the north. Basically the south was treated and viewed by the north as second class folk, due to their primitive ways. Despite this, during training, the south had many advantages than the north. In the beginning of the war, it would seem also the south advanced from their hunting, southern and farming skills. The north were use to modernization, being lawyers, doctors, judges, what they would call more civilized life styles. Nonetheless, both sides were badly affected by the war. However, many of these soldiers were young, as young as 15 enlisting (even younger). It is said, those who enlisted for Robert E. Lee, they weren't older than in their mid 20's. Although they may have shared the same views as their parents, many had different reasons. Some weren't even concerned for the issues on slavery.

There is a heated debate and argument about this. However, when studying more about the American Civil War, it doesn't really seem like a symbol created for pure hate as it is represented today.


Thursday, May 26, 2016

Cyberharrasment on Social Media

Cyberharrasment, cyberbullying or cyberstalking is all in the category of online harassment. This affects people of all ages and it can happen on any social site. I find it mainly on forums, even information type forums like Japan Reference. This is a site to gather information about Japan. Many signs include:

  • Excessive attempts of defamation, ruin someone's reputation, cause them to lose followers and their professional image. They often say negative things that are not even true about the person. Social site users, especially forum users go to extremes to make certain the person's reputation is tarnished.
  • Often claiming the person is unintelligent, has misinformation which they are sharing with the public, they have no educational background. If educational background is visible to them, they attempt to convince others these credentials, work experience, working position and education is fraudulent. 
  • Constantly writing things or doing things to purposely humiliate, embarrass, make the person the pun of online jokes, to purposely have them as nothing more but a joke to many. 
  • Make constant racist and sexist comments. Racism is more common though as so I came to discover. They often go into the racial stereotypes and hateful slurs against a particular kind. 
  • The school type bullying. This is the classic name calling, even though they are adults. It includes calling the person ugly, stupid, and other childish school type bully comments. 

Yes, there are many other signs. Due to my experience, I do agree that this has became a serious problem about social sites. During my research, I also agree in avoid joining forums. Don't mean to sound repetitive, but this was the major reasons I decided to go anonymous. I learned being an anonymous writer will often eliminate this. No one has information about you to criticize about and that is what I preferred.


Japan Reference Again


This is the second forum I experienced harassment. One day, I was researching about Japan, especially working in Japan. Since this particular information was not available, I thought I could ask about working in Japan. One simple question and the users engaged in harassing, cyberbully type activity. This was unnecessary. Finally just recently, a moderator closed the thread. No one answered my question however. That is why I found the information myself. I merely asked because the tidings seemed to be missing. The information needed was the specific topic about the home healthcare service, and also bringing along a disabled relative onto the job. That is all, and not one gave me anything relevant. One said they were confused about the whole living doll thing. Although it does not concern them, someone did question as to why I was moving to Japan. In the future, I will leave my account dormant and I do not take any sources or information from this site. I am referring only to the forum and nothing else.

Absolute Write Water Cooler Forum


This is by far the worst forum I have joined. The difference here was that I did not request for any information. Their ridiculous engagement was similar, but taken a step further by not only following all the signs of online harassment, but engaged in outrageous racist comments. Somehow it also attracted others to harass my manager and I with racist statements. 

Not all Arabs are terrorists or are rude. I am annoyed by those who needs to tell me what they dislike about Arabs. Although it doesn't bother me much (technically I am an Arab), I also find it annoying when many neglect that I said I am mixed. Also, I did mention before I am not taking photos or anything without having the living doll plastic surgery. For those who feel it is insane and some sort of nuttery (which is not a word), I have freedom to do whatever I wish. Also my blog is still undergoing the professional upgrade. I continue blogging due to the length of time it will take to upgrade the blog.

Sunday, May 22, 2016

Serious Warning for the Curious in Proud Land House

Due to the high numbers of interested people, I had an obligation to warn those who gets too curious. It is ultimately your decision, but you are being warned. I advise to not perform any spirit communication rituals to connect with the spirits in the house, from our vehicle (Dodge Durango). I do not even recommend connecting with the spirits that were attached to our previous vehicle, a black Ford. We recently have a 2013 Equinox, but paranormal things has also happened in this vehicle. I advise you to not try and make a connection with the spirits or try and see if there are spirits in the vehicle. Here is the new vehicle:

It is highly dangerous, and those who have performed these rituals have gotten into serious trouble. They are ruined for life. It does unfortunately include the last paranormal investigating team we contacted. The most disturbing event was the death of Mark and Debbie, the two ghost hunters. Mark and Debbie were actually interested in the Dodge Durango vehicle. This was their demise. The family did not see none of the spirits from the vehicle during that time. They returned after they were dead. This is a major reason we are warning those ahead of time. 

Thursday, May 19, 2016

The Argument About Japan and Muslims

Since there seems to be a heated argument about my post, I have took the time to write an explanation. None of these people were qualified to challenge my knowledge. This is especially when they did not know about these restrictions in Japan. Anyone studying Japan's laws can find this information however.

What many may not have comprehended or missed, is that I said it was not always the case. It wasn't always the case Japan does not allow Muslims permanent citizenship. However, I have read many government and business material of Japan saying Japan does in fact have restrictions for Muslims. According to InfoWars and Japan's government, they do not ban all Muslims. They allow residence, tourism and even have Halal food available. Why do you think I mentioned Halal foods in my previous post about moving to Japan? With that said, those of Muslim faith may have more difficulties than any other kind. I was referring to only long term residency in Japan. In this case, the Muslim number is low, but it is not nonexistent. I have read Japan is one of the luckiest countries to not have Islamic terrorist attacks. I was not going to go there or mention anything of this sort, but many criticizers caused me to not care at all. If you look further into Japan's politics, government and laws you can discover this. It is not like the information is not available to everyone. There is however some debate regarding this. While most say this is the case, some may say it is not. This is the same as the views about any outsider of Japan. Let's be frank about that. Any outsider can have difficulty trying to live and work in Japan. They even made certain those who plan a long term residence knows their Japanese language, laws and requirements. I do not have to explain myself, but I wasn't even saying they do not allow Muslims or Arabs at all. There are more difficulties however for some races/kinds than others. All anyone requires to do is to learn Japanese, abide by Japan's laws, government and what is required.

My sources originate from business professionals, government, official books and sites. I do not get any information from those who assume they know it all, or everything about Japan or any of my information I have.

Another note; I was not trashing Japanese people as what many criticize I was doing. That would be pretty ignorant of me to trash the kind and country I am moving to. This is double when I am not even Japanese (not 100%). I go by my research which does happen to be replicable sources. I also listen to what actual Japanese people have to say about specific topics. In fact, I stated I know all Japanese people are not rude. The people who were criticizing my statements were not even Japanese, so. For others however, it can give those impressions and bad views of Japan and Japanese people. They are intelligent, hard working and are business oriented people I prefer, which I can relate to. I will accept all of their laws, requirements, language and everything about Japan in order to have a long term residence. No one can discourage me from moving to Japan. I've gotten so much criticism, it no longer affects me.     

Are All These Social Sites Worth It?

Many writing experts tell writers they should join groups to learn and everything. However, after Japan Reference, I will never join another site. In my opinion, all of these online groups are overrated. The only site I have something positive to say about is Linkedin. I do not even recommend the writing groups on Linkedin though. Well, it probably is good to join them, but not get too involved. Here is a list of reasons why:

  1. Criticism. I am sick of online criticism by these online groups. You'll always come across criticism, but these groups become personal and rude. There is a difference between advice and being criticizing and rude. Most do not understand the difference. I do not believe this much criticism and abuse is something anyone should be subjected to. This is why I am done with these groups. People faces more nonprofessional behaviour than anywhere else.
  2. Many can get too much influence from these groups, and listen to the users too much that they lose their own point of views. This is especially in those writing groups. 
  3. Those Know it Alls: There is always someone who self-claims to be an expert, when in reality they are not. They may know a certain amount more than others, but that does not label them experts. I have came across these know it alls from every group. Their duty seems to have a requirement for belittling, insulting the other's intelligence and treating other users as if they do not know anything. Also, they know more than everyone. These know it all users are the cause for many groups being left. 
  4. Disagreements: Due to a variety of perspectives, personalities, educational background and views, there will always be a clash with other users and their opinions. Not everyone will agree with you, but others become unnecessarily unprofessional (simply rude) about the clash of views. I prefer to not deal with this anymore.  

There is a particularly professional way many can word things. Instead, they prefer to go the ignorant and insolent way. I do not think it is fair and right to treat someone in such a manner. This is why if anyone else asks me to join a group, I will say no.   

Japan Reference Site Review

This is another site I do not recommend, almost for the same reasons I do not recommend Absolute Write Water Cooler Forum.

When trying to ask a question, there is always insulting and criticizing replies to your thread. One didn't understand how someone can make a living out of being a Living Doll. Some cannot, but most find jobs/work and profitable ways for their living doll career. Anyone in the healthcare field would also know that entertaining those of hospice care or in the home care field is a part of the job. Many facilities like that the patient is entertained and their minds off of dying. It would also be under activities and entertainment. There are many other ways a living doll can profit from their lifestyle. Becoming a model or anything else. Here is the post (the people who replied are not Japanese):

It gives me the impression (also through other research) that Japanese people are rude and have a lot of attitude. I have read some findings confirming Japanese may not be the friendliest people. This does not bother me, but the forum itself is annoying due to the back and forth arguing you have to do. Honestly, these users make Japan and Japanese people look bad to others. It gives those the impression (at least me and my manager) that Japanese people are confrontational, rude in every way, unprofessional, short tempered, ignorant, unintelligent but they are just know it alls. This can turn many away from Japan and Japanese people, or anything to do with Japan. If you have a I love Japan poster or shirt, it would make you want to destroy it. I am aware not all Japanese behave this way, but it is just the people on this site that are this way.

I believe all of these recommended sites, and also these writing groups are not really needed at all. I will further discuss this. However, I disagree with all of these experts who says you need to join these sites. 

Monday, May 16, 2016

Visiting Turkey Debate

My family now have passports. Although not something the entire family agrees upon, I have been wishing to visit Turkey. It is an interesting country, especially when I found out my family has a high Turkish percentage. I wished to check the country out and get to know a little bit more about our heritage besides the tv and my studies about Turkey. My mother asks why Turkey? For the reason mentioned already, in addition, I like Turkish music, culture, language and history. However, my mother and I were concerned about our safety. It wouldn't be fun being stuck in a foreign country, in a jail or something. Plus I have also discovered the insects of Turkey. Before travelling anywhere, I immediately look up the insects and wildlife. I was unhappy about those spiders, no matter what size they may be. The worse were those Water Spiders. I know to avoid the water, especially for the Jellyfish. My mother said she'll swim out of that country if we couldn't handle the insects and wildlife.

See a snake or scorpion, we shrug. Spiders; no I dislike that concept alone. I also dislike the Centipedes and the wild dogs thing. Yes, I have read about where they are mainly seen, but this isn't the first time I've heard that there weren't stuff like spiders seen and actually I find one (the places I visit). No, it isn't comparison to the insects that are in Japan. Still, I dislike seeing any spider or centipede.

I noticed I've been only talking about bugs. I personally never spoken or met another Turkish person. Not going into stereotypes, but from experience, I know that races have different personalities. My family basically behaves the same way and takes the same etiquette as Turks. So connecting with their culture would be natural. However, I wondered how diplomatic are the Turkish. I take an unfavour to human beings who have a lot of attitude. So I am hoping they can be professional and diplomatic. I read one thing saying they are known to be friendly, but I prefer to confirm this myself. Another thing, I never heard of a living doll in Turkey. This makes me wonder how Turkish people view living dolls. Is it the same as Americans? What would they think when seeing someone wearing doll like clothing? Well, my mother and I are debating whether or not we should visit Turkey. Also if my mother agrees, when would be the best time to visit. This is while we plan our move to Japan. I am also fine with continuing reading about Turkey without visiting. Right now, it doesn't seem like a good time to visit.

Sunday, May 15, 2016

Another Awkward Topic: Visiting Historical Sites

My all time desired places to visit out of anywhere in the world would be the military historic sites. However, what I have been reading has always discouraged me. It caused a bit of nervousness. I heard of racism in a lot of these sites, especially the American Civil War sites. Recently, the Ku Klux Klan being present. Although they claim to be nonviolent contrast to their quite violent past, I still feel uncomfortable. This is because I study all of their groups, read and hear their views. Obviously they wouldn't want a minority around them. To me, they are fickle and I am uncertain if they would suddenly physically attack. Yes, their dislike has been mainly for African Americans, but they prefer their own kind and no minorities. I was thinking they wouldn't want an Arab (especially a mixed person) walking around. I would not mock these pro-white groups, for I know how serious they are. I have also read how 2016 is their year. They are correct about the American Civil War having more connection to them. The Klan was founded during the civil war, but was more on the rise I read during the presidency of U.S. Grant.

I have spoken to the first civil war reenactor from Deviantart. I am privileged to have gotten to know him, and give thanks for his assistance in my civil war research. He is quite knowledgeable about the American Civil War. Never have I spoken to a reenactor, so I treat all reenactors like celebrities without them knowing. He shared with me information about how it is uncertainty when visiting these sites as a minority. He told me I may have no problems; they may look because of a non-white being present. That's about it. He told me it depends on where I want to go. I was asked if I plan to travel to the deep south. A specific time I decide to go, there may be an entire racist crowd. That or you may run into all racist reenactors. This upset me because I was hoping to personally meet a reenactor or see one, I never have. To me, reenactors are pretty cool and I believe it is nice for those who remember the US history. I am highly interested in military history and historical sites. Also, I do involve myself in helping preserve these historic sites; even carvings or statues everyone else wishes to have removed. I'll admit the US is looking less American. I feel no one should remove the very elements that are American, no matter what it may be. No one can change the past, and everyone needs to know what happened. It is not a symbol of hate or oppression, but it tells a story of history.

With that said, I really want to visit the sites I have saved. I will share all of the sites that interest me soon. I just hope I can visit them without any incidents.   

Saturday, May 14, 2016

Author Brands

I have been reading about author branding, and building your author brand. Author brands are basically who is the author, and what will be marketed and presented to everyone else. I found useful articles on Linkedin. Particularly, I liked the one written by

Joseph Smith

Joseph Smith, one of few well known American religious leaders. He is known for starting the movement of the Mormon church. Actually, he was a leader of many created churches, but they are all labeled under Mormon. Many may call him a genius and prophet, but in reality he started a movement of a dark cult. He was born December 23, 1805 in Sharon, Vermont. I am skipping to one of the highlights, which is when he claimed to have seen God and Jesus. During the time in 1820, he was 14 years of age. This is when Jesus came to him as so he says in the woods with a message. The voice said to him, "This is my beloved son. Hear him." This happened during his stay in New York. It says Joseph Smith couldn't comprehend his religious beliefs entirely, as he was reading the new testament. I guess that is why he formed his own doctrines? Also picked from the old testament. 

In the 1830's, he and those who was assisting with the movement faced ridicule and attacks from mobs. This had been throughout Joseph's mission when I read about it. Worth it? Well, at the time they would believe so, but at the end, no. Many do not mention this name, but Brigham Young was the second president for the Mormon church movement. Born June 1, 1801, Whiting-ham, Vermont, I believe he was the man to take it over after Joseph's death from 1847. 

Joseph along with his assistants spread an unusual and dark practice in the US, which eventually spread to different countries. Joseph was also the earliest to have cult leader type traits. I do not know, but he seems to be an inspiration for many cults. They take after the Mormon church. First, he introduced the practice of polygamy, the marrying of many women, however also marrying many young girls, as young as 14. There has been times where they were the age of 12. It was said that the founder himself had 40 wives, some young girls. Joseph picked and chose which elements of the bible to follow. I have heard that he says yes thou shall not kill, but then God says destroy.

1844, his brother was killed along with the prophet Joseph by a mob, shot to death. It was actually a mob of 155. 

Today there is a Joseph Smith historic site located in Nauvoo, Illinois, among other historic locations.

Thursday, May 12, 2016

My Daily Character List Part 1

Everyday I dress and portray existing characters. I picked out a few characters on my own who I would portray. For me, I believe in order to become the character for an entire day, you must have some sort of connection and likeability. My manager however discussed with me that I would need to dress as many characters, even characters outside my personal connection and my own personality. With me dressing as these characters especially as a living doll, I study their character, talk and behave just like the character. That is why I believe in having a connection with the character. She has selected most of the characters she feels would suit my career. So I am sharing the list of characters I dress as everyday, all day for my living doll life. Due to the long list, I will have to make this into a few series to share all of the characters I dress as.

Hatsune Miku - Vocaloid


Miku is one of my favourite characters I typically dress as everyday mainly. I am a huge Miku fan. I love everything about her, including her music!

Akame - Akame ga Kill

I never heard of this character or series until my manager introduced Akame to me. She also suggested other characters from the series. I am in full agreement.

Fumino Serizawa - Mayo Neko Overrun! 

She is so kawaii. I love wearing this wig and wearing the actual outfit she wears everyday.

Yui Hirasawa - K-On!

Tsumugi Kotobuki - K-On!

Yuno Gasai - Future Diary 


Yuno is my second favourite character I often dress as everyday. There's just something about her that I like.

Dawn - Pokemon

Dawn is my favourite featured female characters of the Pokemon generations. I like her character in every way, and love portraying as her.

Chiaki Nanami - Dangan Ronpa


Kasane Teto - Utau

Mako - Kill la Kill

Ryuko Matoi - Kill la Kill

Iris - Pokemon

Although she is not my skin complexion, I had to add Iris to my character list. Her character is everything I can connect with and portray perfectly. I also love Iris, even if many do not like her. However it really is difficult to find someone who can custom make this wig.

Hinata Hyuga - Naruto 


I prefer when Hinata has long hair. My favourite part is wearing the contacts.

Isshiki Akane - VividRed Operation 


Lucy Heartfilia - Fairy Tail

This personally was not my character selection. My manager suggested that I portray as Lucy. I discovered I love being Lucy everyday.

So those are a few characters I portray. I will finish the list soon.

Saturday, May 7, 2016

When You Know You're Adopted

Nothing can depress someone more to find out your mother isn't your biological mother, and your family isn't really your family. Confusion arises, along with many questions. You know, it makes things a whole lot worse when the person who adopted you continues to lie, but giving off hints they know you aren't kin to them. Stuff doesn't quite make sense when (also includes personal issues)...

  1. Your mother is incapable of sharing detailed descriptions of your birth. Plus, she always answers with a different answer every time you ask. 
  2. She has no pictures of you when you were younger or a baby.
  3.  She is unsure where you were born, and gives you different stories and locations. 
  4. Your family you notice is not the same race you are. It can be confusing when they are telling you, you are their same race. Also forcing you to say you are their race. Nothing is quite making sense though.
  5. If you have an accent (in which we do), you wonder why you are the only to have one. 
  6. There is some sort of detachment to the family or your "mother"
  7. You notice you do not resemble any of your family, not even your mother. 
  8. Those awkward DNA test's matches saying they found one trait in the family, but not you. 
  9. Your birth certificate looks generic. 
  10. You notice the family seems to have to convert you to their religion. Accepting that religion isn't really a choice, it is forced. Also trying hard to force you to stop natural, but different cultural habits.  
I learned about adopting children from the Middle Eastern countries, which is now making sense. What I read was that the adoptive family does everything to break any Middle Eastern and Muslim customs, traditions and habits the child may pick up. This includes knowing the Arabic language. I did notice now that my mother's adoptive family has done this to her and to my sister and me. They went to extremes to make certain we would not adopt any ways from the Middle Eastern countries or Muslim belief. We all were forced into Christianity, but we willingly accept the religion.  

Yandere Characters

For some reason, I have been sort of drawn to Yandere characters. As a living doll, I will become an Ellowyne Wilde doll and a Yandere doll. Well, I am a living Ellowyne Wilde doll, but for characters there are Yandere sides to them.

I have created two manga projects with Yandere characters. The definition is a female character who is soft outside, but tough inside; they are the psychotic and dark girls in anime/manga. Many have obsessive and jealous traits. They are willing to do anything, even kill for someone they love. Actually their character can be centered around being lovestruck in a dark way. Similar to a psycho girlfriend, but worse. I found out there are two types of Yandere girls. Those who are lovestruck can be obsessed and kill anyone in competition, who gets in the way or also they feel the need to protect their love. The second is a girl who kills their love so no one else can have them. Yandere characters are purposely designed to look cute or have a moe type appearance. This is to give the illusion of cuteness, harmlessness, complete innocence to fool everyone into believing they aren't capable of being psychotic, dark, sadistic, violent and heinous. Most have a signature weapon, which is usually a knife, axe, gun, swords or any other weapon. Since she is labeled the Queen of Yandere, many will know by looking at her face what is Yandere:

One project I have is a main character who is Yandere. The other is filled with a few Yandere characters. I am currently developing the characters and the manga series. Since they must look innocent, I'm bringing the cuteness to create the new iconic Yandere character. 

Thursday, May 5, 2016

Didn't Know I Was Eating Pork

It is natural for my family to avoid pork. We view it as unclean and actually we cannot consume anything containing pork. I think it has something to do with genetics. We are actually allergic to pork. Lately I have been researching in what is really in the food we eat. I was shocked and disgusted by what I found out. There were some things also we did not know had pork in it. This would explain our severe illness when eating something. I learned the US can be similar to Japan. The US uses pork for almost everything. This makes it even difficult trying to avoid pork. These are the products I found contained pork:

  • Colgate toothpaste
  • Jello
  • Candies
  • Gum
  • Cheese
  • Doritos
  • Sometimes due to the shortage of food, Pig and/or Horse milk is used to fill in for Cow milk. 
  • Ivory Soap
  • Chips Ahoy foods
There are many more things that contain pork. Our family loves cheese, but the thought disgusts us and would explain our allergy type symptoms after consuming cheese. We forget all about it when eating a pizza, but pay for it later on. 

Japan: Creepy Insects

I was curious about Japan's insects and wildlife, when discovering a disaster. They are actually a few large disasters. My family will find this part about living in Japan our least favourite. I guarantee there will be a lot of running and screaming bloody murder.

Brown Huntsman Spider


The size of this spider is no comparison to the spiders we see in our house. Well, there are spiders as big as the Huntsman mostly down south in the US. I do not mind pet, tamed spiders but there is something terrifying about wild spiders. Japan happens to have a lot of large spiders. Since I see this one most in houses, this spider I shared. It is also the scariest spider in Japan I think.

Giant Japanese Hornet


Image to compare sizes with the average Bee and the Japanese Hornet. I read Japan's Hornets are the largest in the world. They look prehistoric and not real. My family will have to be cautious not to embarrass ourselves outside.

Japanese Rhinoceros Beetle


There is something about how this looks that I dislike. I already know I will dislike all Japanese beetles.

Giant Japanese Centipede



I hate centipedes and to think there are larger sized ones are not making me too happy. The Centipedes can be large in the US, but not quite like this.

I am trying to prepare myself for this, and get over the insects I already think are large.

Monday, May 2, 2016

The Difference Between Living Dolls and Cosplayers

Many categorize living dolls and cosplayers in the same group. Yes, living dolls may cosplay or dress as existing characters. In fact, that is the only thing I am doing currently, although I am considered a living Ellowyne Wilde doll. However, there is a huge difference.

Cosplayers are those who dress as characters from anime, games and other entertainment. Depending upon the individual, they can wear their cosplay clothing only during cosplay environments while others more often than others. There are also people who just loves wearing Japanese fashion who shouldn't be considered living dolls, even if they have doll like appearances.

Living dolls are people who change their entire appearance, lifestyle and everything, or also go to extremes to look like a doll, character, cartoon, or figurine. Plastic surgery is often involved to look more porcelain/doll like. Living dolls wear doll type clothing everyday, and wear doll type makeup daily. There are many types of living dolls, some more unique than others. The human Barbie living doll is popular because I noticed people are less confused when telling them you are a human Barbie. When having to explain I am a living/human doll, there can be confusion still. This is until I explain like the human Barbies, but I am not a human Barbie. The doll Barbie is one of the most iconic dolls that has been around for years. Memories of Barbie tempted me to become a human Barbie. However, I wished to be completely different. I did not want to be another Barbie. There are also anime living dolls; those who goes to extremes to look like anime dolls or anime characters. Those are just the two most common living dolls, but of course there are others. I love them all!

I hope to have cleared things that cosplayers are not entirely the same as a living doll. 

Writing Anonymously

When I was anonymous, I found many benefits that seems to disappear when writers are not anonymous. First I want to share the benefits and reasons why writers would wish to do this.

I have read and I am actually a good example why going anonymous is best. There are gender, race and also privacy reasons. I am unsure about men, but I find women dealing with issues of having to deal with harassment and discrimination. So if anonymous, no one would know, unless writers make it obvious. That is the reason why I chose a name and theme that could be for either gender.

I am also proof that it is best to go anonymous without anyone knowing your race. Also there is the benefit of many not knowing who you are and not knowing anything about you. Personally, I like peace and privacy. I read to never give out anything about yourself. I honestly liked the fact no one knew me. It was a disaster that Facebook revealed my identity. The damage was irreversible and I had no choice but to share who exactly is Tikaani Moon.

When you are like me, writing about cults, psychopaths, demons, devil worshipers and other dark things, no one would think I would write such material. At work and outside my work, I had a specific reputation, and this was not it. Also if you happen to belong to a certain religious group that condemns this sort of work, the anonymous publishing can be good. I am also a living doll, which does not fit the work I write.

Although I never had a problem keeping the anonymous writer theme up, I find it can be tricky today. What disappears is your discreteness and is subject to comments by those around you. Well, not being anonymous, everyone will find out everything about you eventually, even when trying to hide it. Also when blogging, everyone pretty much knows who wrote it. So this can be a bit bad, not that much though.

So these were the concerns, and why I went anonymous myself. 


Keeping the Pen Name

Writers seem to always have a story or reason behind their pen names. For me, the pen name Tikaani Moon was originally a name and brand for an anonymous writer of course. Tikaani is a Native American name which means wolf. I added the Moon for extra distinction. Uniqueness was achieved and that is why my manager and I loved the name and theme. Also from the false assumption, I thought to have been representing my Native American heritage. 2015 was when I learned my family wasn't really my family. So I am sorry if I have answered yes to the question are you Native American. I had no clue my heritage was entirely different from what I was told.

Despite this, I decided to keep the pen name and theme. It took me too long to create a distinctive pen name and brand. So I will publish books under Tikaani Moon. Also, I choose to represent and help the race that I feel needs the most help. 

Sunday, May 1, 2016

Homeschooling vs. Public School Experience

Homeschooling may not be for everyone, but for me it was the best choice. I will share my experience in both the public school and homeschooling.

First, homeschooling many may think is not a good way to learn. Many may be right in certain situations. It will not only if there is no qualified person around to learn from, you have no natural interest in learning and it just won't work out. However, my mother was always in college, and so I learned college leveled education at an early age. I feel homeschooling also allowed me to learn what was relevant, most important in real life. I learned more during homeschooling than in public schooling. Plus I was able to excel and find my calling.

In public school, I felt I was restricted and taught things that are not useful. What I was learning was Harry Potter and nothing that would expand my education. I do not think knowing every Harry Potter spell will help anyone in the real world. The American public schools can be quite known for this. The things that interested me, I felt the schools did not speak enough about. This led me to conduct my own research. I found an interest in learning more about Native American culture, science, literature, mythology and other things. I feel the only thing that is really important is math, money (but money counting is becoming obsolete), spelling and grammar, but this is taught not enough. The other thing that is important is what is ever relevant to that individual.

The public schools have always gave me problems. Teachers would pick at everything about me. They would complain about my naturally long nails, for instance. My mother was constantly asked to stop allowing me to wear fake nails. When they discovered they were my own, they told us it was a distraction. I did not see how, neither did my mother. I think this is what started the habit of me cutting my nails down really short. They always had an issue with my religion, although I wasn't doing anything. Every interest I had, teachers forced me to discontinue my interests. They were only writing, animals, wolves, planets, mythology and other harmless things. Due to my strange accent, many were annoyed by this. I could not explain my accent and why I spoke like English wasn't my native language. I was always alienated by teachers because of it. That is why I felt confused about what race I was, and what the Drumgole family were telling us. It was the main reason why I worked hard to learn how to talk without an accent. The worse issue was that the teachers discouraged me anyway they could. I wanted to be a veterinarian and have a career with wolves; so teachers forced me to stop my interests in animals. That is only one example. My potential was always kept down to the point I wasn't for sure what I wanted to do. Many do not know this, but actually I would have enlisted into the US Air Force. I was obsessed and drawn to military history and everything related to the military. This caused me to want to enlist. Joining the Air Force was the only interest they allowed me to keep. If I stayed in public schooling, I would have joined. Also, I would have never became a writer, living doll among other things. So I can say the American public school has been unfair to me, and hindered my education and potential. That is why I know homeschooling was better for me. 

I have to say though, through all of what I endured in the public school, there is one teacher I would never forget. She was a math teacher and would share her story of surviving the holocaust. No one really listened, but I always did. I found her story interesting. She also told other things that I would not forget.  

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